


you never lifted your voice you never raised your hand

by sonofahurricane



Category: Neoscum (Podcast), Shadowrun
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Oral Sex, Trans Male Character, everyone in NeoScum is trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 18:31:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14062908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofahurricane/pseuds/sonofahurricane
Summary: The Tech Wizard's first shadowrun mission doesn't end the way he expected--or start that way, either.For the prompt on the One Shot Podcast Network kink meme prompt: Dak/Tech - first time.





	you never lifted your voice you never raised your hand

**Author's Note:**

> Again, a scattering of the 8000 things I have to say about this:  
> 1) Everyone is trans in NeoScum. I don't make the rules.  
> 2) I simultaneously want to apologize for this and show it off so uh you can @ me if you want I guess  
> 3) I make no claims about any timeline whatsoever, time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so  
> 4) https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DURwnUZXkAIoCLV.jpg:large 
> 
> Warnings include: alcohol usage, self-hatred, dysphoria (gender or otherwise, depending on your reading; TW is a trans man who ALSO has body image issues according to me, but I'm not sure that gets across here and you can read it any way you want I guess.)

Squirt Purpler--the Tech Wizard--’s hands were shaking around his glass as he scanned nervously around the bar. He was supposed to meet someone--well not just someone. Dak Rambo,  _the_  Dak Rambo, to talk about a, a, a fucking  _shadowrun_  mission they both had signed up for. Tech could barely believe it, one minute he was oooing and ahhhhing over Pete Whistler’s stories and now he was--he was here in a dark bar, his fingers wrapped tight around the whiskey he had ordered because he panicked when the bartender asked him what he wanted. Hell, a little liquid courage couldn’t hurt tonight, right?  
  
Tech took a big sip and choked back a cough as he swallowed the whiskey, then glanced around the bar. No one really seemed to be paying much attention to him, which he figured was good--he really didn’t need to run into any anti-wizard folks right now, not before his first shadowrun mission. Speaking of which- Tech pulled out his phone and opened Darkmovers just to make sure he was at the right spot and also that he hadn’t misread that  _Dak Rambo_  was the other person who had signed up for this.   
  
He must not have been wrong, though, because suddenly next to him at the bar was a large man in a sleeveless shirt with a vest over it and a large trucker hat. Underneath the hat, the man had--was that a mullet?--and a sly look in his eye as he leaned over to Tech.   
  
“Are you the Computer Whiz?” the man asked loudly, clapping Tech on the back so hard it nearly knocked Tech over. TW righted himself in his seat and chuckled nervously.  
  
“Uh, I’m the Tech Wizard, yes,” he said rapidly. “I’m Squirt, Squirt Purpler, but uh, you can just call me Tech Wizard, that’s--that's my shadowrunner name.”   
  
“Oh, Tech Wizard! My bad, my bad. I’m Dak Rambo--that’s my regular name and uh also my shadowrunner name I guess. You can just call me Dak. It’s great to meet you, Tech!” Dak leaned against the bar and nodded at Tech’s drink. “I see you had time for one. Is our Johnson here yet? Do you think there’s time for me to get one?” Instead of waiting for Tech to answer, Dak caught the attention of the bartender and ordered some drink Tech had never heard of before, then downed the entire thing when it came.   
  
Tech was… Well. That was hot. Dak Rambo was  _hot_ , no question about it, and Tech was… shit. Immediately attracted to him and god he better not screw up this job because he had a  _boner_  for  _Dak Rambo_. It wouldn’t be the first time his boner for a dude messed up something… but Dak was talking again, so Tech had to focus and pay attention. Dak Rambo. He was working with Dak Rambo on his  _first shadowrun mission_.   
  
“Anyway, I’m trying to work my way out of that by doing missions, you know?” Dak was saying, and Tech realized he hadn’t been paying attention at  _all_  to what Dak had been saying, which he really ought to have been because he was talking to Dak Rambo!!! Well, Dak was talking to  _him_ , but that was basically the same deal, and Tech knew that if he wanted to be any good at shadowrunning at all, he should pay attention to Dak and listen to Dak, but it was just so hard because he couldn’t stop looking at Dak’s lips and thinking about--well. Fuck.  _Focus_ , Tech Wizard.  
“Anyway, you haven’t seen our Johnson at all?” There was that name again. Johnson. Tech had no idea what that was supposed to mean, if it was like a reference to something related to shadowrunning or was just Dak… talking… about something…  _Fuck_ , Tech could hardly watch Dak talk. Well he could but it meant looking at Dak’s face, at his mouth and his eyes and the way the trucker hat framed his features.

“Uh, no, no, I haven’t seen your johnson--uh our Johnson. Our Johnson!” Tech could feel himself sweating now, he couldn’t believe he had just let that slip, goddammit Tech he was absolutely messing this up! “I uh- I was just checking the job on Darkmovers to see if maybe there was an update--” Tech glanced down at his phone and saw indeed there was an update from the person who had posted the job. “Here, look,” he said, raising his phone to show Dak the job.   
  
“Meeting postponed to tomorrow,” Dak read aloud, squinting at Tech’s screen. “Ahh, hell. If I had known better I wouldn’t have wasted the gas rolling over here! This asshole’s got us locked into this job for what, 8, 10 hours? What a bunch of bullshit. Hey buddy!” He waved his hand to get the bartender’s attention. “How ‘bout another drink for me and my buddy TW here, whatever he was drinking.”   
  
Buddy. Dak had called Tech his buddy. Tech could feel himself blushing again, and he quickly downed the rest of his drink before the bartender could see he had hardly taken a sip after that first one. But the whiskey burned and Tech choked, coughing so hard he almost fell out of his chair--did fall, but caught himself and doubled over.   
  
“Whoa, whoa! Easy there buddy!” Dak pounded on Tech’s back as he coughed, only easing up when Tech took in huge gulps of air. “You gotta be careful, can’t having you choke to death before we even get the mission! It’s hard to do a two person job with one dead person.”   
  
“I, I wouldn’t know,” gasped Tech Wizard, and he wasn’t sure  _why_  all of this was pouring out of his mouth right now except that he wanted to feel Dak’s hand on his back again. “This--this is my first shadowrunning mission.”   
  
“Really?” Dak whistled. “Well no worries, buddy. Ole Dak Rambo’s got your back. Here, have another drink, it’ll help you catch your breath.” That was a logic Tech didn’t follow, but he did climb back up onto the barstool and accept the drink. Dak downed his drink immediately again, and leaned against the bar with a smile, watching Tech take a sip of his. Tech wasn’t sure what to do--should he follow Dak’s lead in this?--but Dak interrupted his worry with a question. “So if this is your first mission, what did you do before this? Usually there’s a story behind why someone becomes a shadowrunner.”  
  
“Uh, I’m technically still an actor. I play a villain on a kid’s TV show, on local access?” Tech offered nervously. “Maybe you’ve seen it--”  
  
“Mmm, haven’t heard of it,” Dak shook his head, and the way he was looking at Tech made Tech flush again. He was… examining Tech, almost, looking him up and down. Tech’s ears burned.  
  
“Oh. Uh. Well. Yeah. The show’s on hiatus right now, and I thought I’d… try something different… y’know. Instead of moping around my apartment.” Tech found he suddenly couldn’t stop babbling, and was about to ask Dak how  _he_  got into the business, just to have an excuse to shut up and listen to Dak talk, when Dak interrupted him again.  
  
“Hey, you wanna get out of here? Maybe--go back to my place? We’ve got a few hours to kill.”  
  
Tech Wizard almost fell out of his seat again.  _Dak Rambo_  was inviting him back to  _his place_? For  _what_? For--for--   
  
“I mean, only if you want to, of course,” Dak said. “You know. Just to kill time.”

Just to kill time. Tech couldn’t seem to make his brain understand what Dak could possibly mean by that, his whole being just consumed with fantasy after fantasy of this strong, masculine trucker holding Tech’s wrists above his head, grinding his thigh again Tech’s dick, whispering filthy things into Tech’s ear until he--  
  
“Uh yeah! Sure! If you don’t mind--I. That. Sure!” Tech tried not to look desperate as he clambered off the barstool again, foot catching in one of the rungs so badly he nearly tipped the entire stool over trying to get out from under it. He righted it properly and then glanced around nervously to see if anyone had noticed the two of them walking out together--not that it mattered, they weren’t doing anything, they were just going back to Dak’s place. Tech reached into his wallet to pay for his drinks, but Dak just grabbed his arm and strolled right out the front door, quickly leading Tech into an alley.   
  
“Dak!” Tech hissed. “Dak we didn’t pay for our drinks, we gotta--” And then Dak yanked Tech’s whole body forward against the brick of the building--not hard, but Tech was so shocked he couldn’t move. Was he--was Dak going to kill him?   
  
“Tech, uh--” Dak’s face was so close, Tech could close the distance just by moving his neck but he couldn’t stop staring into Dak’s eyes. Dak’s mouth was open a little bit, looking back at Tech, and Tech felt a shiver run through him. “You’re a handsome man,” Dak rambled, and he raised a hand and swept some of Tech’s hair off his forehead. Fuck--was this really happening? What  _was_ happening? Dak cradled Tech’s face in his palm and drew their heads even closer, noses brushing now. “Can I--kiss you?”   
  
It was as if Tech was falling, falling, falling, like the ground underneath him was suddenly water and Tech shivered and then instead of answering Dak’s question, he surged forward and their lips met, Tech grasping onto the back of Dak’s vest.  _Fuck_ \--he was kissing Dak Rambo, and he could actually feel the other man’s warm body under his hands and his lips and the way his nose smushed against Tech’s face and the way his hands had slid up to grasp the back of Tech’s hand so gently but so firm, fuck, his fingers curled in Tech’s hair and Tech wanted to rut up into Dak’s body, wanted Dak to press him against this wall and god fuck  _fuck_ \--  
  
Tech gasped as Dak bit into his bottom lip, then lathed over it with his tongue. Dak glanced down at Tech and smiled. “We should get back to my place before it gets cold,” he said, but made no move to head in… well, any direction.  
  
“It’s June,” Tech breathed distractedly, looking up at Dak’s pink lips in wonderment.   
  
“Exactly,” Dak said, and slid his hand up and down Tech’s arm before entwining his fingers with Tech’s. Tech almost jerked away in surprise, but Dak didn’t break eye contact for a moment, and he tugged lightly on Tech’s hand. “Come on. It’s just this way, a couple of blocks.”   
  
They started walking, pretty quickly, and for a second Tech was tripping over himself, trying to keep up and move, but Dak made no move to slow down, which made Tech’s stomach clench and his skin tingle. “I thought you said you wasted gas coming down here?” Tech asked as he tried to right himself.   
  
“Well getting into town, I did, sure,” Dak said smoothly. “But between this job falling out and the other job--well, let’s just say I could really score some more gas money to hit the road again.” He paused for a second and then took off again, Tech stumbling to catch up.   
  
When they stopped again, Dak yanked Tech forward and kissed him  _again_ , and Tech’s head was spinning, he was basically holding onto Dak to stay upright. Dak was moving them, too, moving and kissing at the same time, one hand at the back of Tech’s neck and the other reaching behind them, behind them, Tech could feel the muscles in his upper arm strain and with a disturbing  _crack_ , a door Tech hadn’t noticed wrenched open behind them.

Tech pulled out of the kiss with a startled shock and looked behind Dak. “What the hell?” he sputtered. “Are you- are you okay?”

Dak turned and grabbed Tech’s hand again. “Just fine,” he said. “Door sticks a little bit, but you just have to give it a little bit of a jiggle and you’re through!” 

“A  _jiggle_ \--Dak it looks like you practically tore it off its hinges! What is this?” Tech couldn’t help but feel a little turned on, but he was also confused by all of this. “I thought you said we were going back to your place?”

“This  _is_  my place!” Dak insisted. Tech took a second to examine the building--mostly boarded up windows and he could see now that there were boards that probably went over the door, too. “It’s a little rough, but hey, the power is on! Sort of, if you siphon it from the generator in the basement. It’s a little dusty in there, but it’s home.” Dak pulled back and looked Tech up and down briefly, a flash of concern crossing his face. “Is that okay, Tech? Because if you’d rather go home--”

“No!” Tech said, and took a step towards Dak before catching himself. Fuck he looked so desperate and god he had been kissing  _Dak Rambo_  but his heart was beating so loudly in his ears it was hard to think, much less really make out how he felt about the entire situation. “I just-- this is. I’m not usually this-- I’m not used to-- you’re the-- fast. It’s fast. I  _like_  it,” he was quick to add. “I just.” Tech could feel Dak’s eyes on him again as he looked at the dusty ground under his own feet, and he could feel himself turning beet red. “Maybe we could slow down--just a little. I like kissing, I just--”

Tech felt Dak’s hand on the back of his head, and looked up to see Dak had closed the gap between them. “We can go slower,” he said, and then he leaned in slowly and Tech could practically feel himself  _melting_  into Dak’s touch as Dak kissed him again--slower this time, Dak’s hands wandering up and down Tech’s body, occasionally grasping some part of him and squeezing so Tech squeaked right into Dak’s mouth. When they parted again, a millennium later it felt like, Tech’s head was spinning and he inhaled deeply. 

“Come on, darlin’,” Dak said, his voice rumbly with lust, and Tech could feel his legs turn to jelly at the nickname, at Dak’s voice. “Let’s head up.” He took Tech’s hand again, and this time Tech squeezed Dak’s hand for tightly for one brief moment before they started up, up, up the stairs, raising dust wherever they walked. 

Dak’s door was also ajar, evidence that he had managed to pry this open too--break the lock, or, it looked like as the door swung open, somehow remove the handle mechanism altogether. Dak opened the door and bowed, gesturing for Tech to go in first, and Tech’s stomach did flip flops again as he brushed past Dak’s body. Dak followed him and let the door swing to something approximating shut, running his hand up and down Tech’s back. 

“What do you want to do?” he asked Tech, the rub ending with Dak lightly tapping Tech’s back. “I think I have some space weed in a drawer somewhere, we could smoke something--”

“Uh, actually,” Tech’s hands fumbled with one another and then he reached out to Dak, running his palms along the fabric of the vest, up and down Dak’s chest. “Could we um--continue? What we started?”

Dak’s mouth split into a grin, and he gripped Tech’s ass. “We could do that,” he said. “I do like to  _finish_  what I’ve started.” He leaned in and pressed his lips against Tech’s, and Tech was lost in Dak Rambo’s mouth again. His  _mouth_ \--there was something that Tech couldn’t stop thinking about, about Dak’s lips and his--his teeth, as he nibbled on Tech’s lip again, then moved along to kiss the side of Tech’s mouth, his cheek, up to his ear. “You let Ole Dak Rambo know what feels good, okay sweetheart?” He took Tech’s earlobe into his mouth and bit down lightly, and Tech shuddered and moaned out loud, squeezing Dak’s shoulders as the other man moved lower. Time was losing all meaning--hell, had completely lost meaning the moment Dak Rambo had sat next to him in that bar, and now there were no longer minutes, just the feeling of Dak’s lips against his skin, Dak’s vest and shoulders under his hand, and the stirring of arousal that was starting to spike in his gut.

“Dak,” Tech whispered as Dak attacked his jaw with gnawing kisses. Tech’s whole body was shaking now, and he wanted more, wanted Dak to go lower--but of the two of them, Tech was more likely, right? Tech could feel Dak’s broad shoulders under his hands and he whimpered. “Dak, Dak,” he kept repeating until finally the other man pulled away from sucking on Tech’s neck, flashing a toothy grin at the wizard. 

“Is that good?” Dak said softly, his voice rumbling against Tech’s chest, and he went back to peppering soft kisses along Tech’s jaw, up to his ear. 

“Yes, god, Dak, fuck,” Tech babbled. “I need, I need-”

“What do you need?” Dak whispered against the shell of Tech’s ear, and that seemed to be it for Tech--he needed more, so much more, and maybe Dak would touch him out of reciprocity if Tech sucked him off or something. Yeah, that was good, Tech could be okay with that if it meant Dak would keep touching him afterwards. Tech Wizard sunk to his shaking knees, trembling hands reaching for Dak’s belt buckle--a heavy metal piece with an arrow and text around it reading “my eyes are up here.” 

And then, Tech’s worst nightmare manifested before his very eyes, as Dak’s hips jerked out of his reach. “Whoa whoa whoa there, sweetheart,” Dak said, putting a careful hand in Tech’s hair, holding him back. Tech almost blacked out for a second with the mix of blown anticipation and just- fear, terror, that he had read it wrong. He froze and then screwed up his eyes, shaking his head.

“Fuck,” Tech snarled at himself. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.” He punched the floor under his knees and then collapsed on himself, pressing his forehead to the floor. “You fucked this up, you  _always_  fuck this up, FUCK,” he whispered, smashing his forehead against the wood. 

“Whoa, hey, hey!” Dak cried, scrambling to the floor next to Tech and grabbing his shoulders. “What did you fuck up?”

And it was too much, and  _fuck Dak was still being **nice**  about this, he hadn’t even punched Tech for trying to suck his dick_ and Tech couldn’t help it--he started crying, ugly bawling and wailing right there, snot streaming out of his nose as he screamed. “All I wanted- fuck Dak you’ve been so good and you’re so, you’re so, you’re so  _hot_  and I just, I thought, FUCK, I fucked it up I shouldn’t have, fuck!” 

“Hey!” Dak said again, and he wrenched Tech close to him, wrapping his arms around the wizard’s frame as Tech shuddered and sobbed beneath his touch. Dak was rubbing slow circles into his back and it was too much, Tech was still fucking  _hard_  under his robes and he had fucked up so badly and now Dak was  _hugging_  him, was soothing him and  _shhing_ into his ear. “Hey it’s okay buddy, it’s okay, let it out, you’re okay.”

“I fucked it up, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry i just- I- FUCK.” 

“Hey it’s okay, you’re okay,” Dak repeated softly, and wracking sobs relented just a little bit, though Tech was still crying. “You’re okay.”

“I just- fuck, FUCK! I wanted you, I need, fuck, I want to be touched so I thought- I thought you might touch me if I sucked you off, if I, I thought,  _fuck_ , I can, I can leave I just please fuck I’m so sorry.” 

Dak didn’t say anything, though the slow backrub didn’t stop, didn’t even hitch for a second. Tech felt his entire body go cold with fear again, and he started shaking again, another apology on his lips, when Dak’s lips brushed gently against his ear. “You just wanted to be touched, sweetheart? Ole Dak Rambo’s got you all worked up and hard?” 

The air making up Tech’s apology died in his throat, just disappeared like Dak had sucked it out of him with those words. It took him a second for his brain to recalibrate, and then he noticed Dak’s hand was sliding lower down his back to grab his ass through his robes. “You with me, baby boy?” Dak murmured into Tech’s ear, and Tech’s brain crashed and had to restart  _again_. 

“Yeah,” he finally mumbled back, his hands sliding back up Dak’s back just to grip Dak’s broad shoulders again. “Yeah, I’m with you, I-” he gasped as Dak took Tech’s earlobe into his mouth and bit down just slightly, making Tech’s entire body go limp with pleasure. “Fuck,” he whispered. 

“Dak’ll make you feel good,” Dak said between nibbling kisses down Tech’s neck. Tech held back a deep groan but couldn’t contain a whimper as Dak lathed his tongue over a love bite on his collarbone. “Yeah, that’s right buddy. That feel good?” Tech whimpered again, his eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his face into Dak’s shoulder. “Oh no, come on now, I can’t reach you like that,” Dak huffed good-naturedly. He peeled Tech’s head off his shoulder and Tech’s eyes opened again, looking into Dak’s eyes as the other man cradled his face gently with his massive, callused hand. Dak was grinning at him, his cat eyes scanning Tech’s face with--was that with approval? Tech blushed under Dak’s gaze, averting his eyes to look at Dak’s map of tattoos disappearing under his torn sleeveless shirt. 

“What do you need?” Dak asked softly, brushing his thumb across Tech’s cheek. Tech blushed hard and trembled, his head sinking until Dak drew him up to kiss him on the mouth, tongue swiping across his lips before he opened his mouth to say something and Dak’s tongue slipped inside. Tech’s brain blinked out for a second and he could feel the groan rumbling in his chest--fuck, Dak was a good kisser and every touch was now sending shocks of energy across Tech’s too-warm skin. 

“Fuck, Dak, I-” Tech muttered as Dak pulled away again. “I want- I wanna feel good, I want, I want you to touch me, please, I can’t-”

A rumbling laugh from Dak cut Tech off. “You want me to touch you, babe? I can touch you. I’ll make you feel good. Come on, sweet boy.” Each sentence was punctuated with a startlingly hot kiss to his throat, and then Dak was pulling him too his feet, practically dragging him to--to a bedroom of sorts, a ragged mattress on the ground. Dak kissed Tech again before pulling away. “Take off those robes, baby,” he murmured, and then Tech went red.

“I, I, I,” Tech stuttered, glancing nervously around the room and specifically up at the yellow light that cast shadows above them. “Can- can we turn off the light?” 

Dak paused in shucking off his vest, looking from Tech to the light above them. “Everything okay?” he asked, and Tech almost said yes, no, everything was fine, but Dak looked at him with so much concern and Tech--Tech wanted to enjoy every second of this without worrying, if he could. 

“I just, uh- I’m. Not used to. I don’t  _like_ , I mean, I don’t like… people seeing me. Naked. Like that. In full light. I- I just, uh. It’s okay, I just don’t want to- I. My chest and-” Before he could stutter anymore and start to cry again, Dak had switched off the light and pressed another kiss to Tech’s lips.

“Whatever you need, babe,” he whispered against Tech’s lips. “Whatever will make you feel good. You still feel good? You okay?” 

Tech let a shiver run over his body. “Y- yeah,” he muttered, then kissed Dak again. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You still want to do this? We don’t have to.”

“No!” The words burst from Tech’s lips, and then he cursed himself as Dak pulled away, his cat eyes glowing in the light from the street lamps outside. “No I mean yes, god, fuck,  _please_  Dak, I want- I want this, I just, I want it. I’m not--I want it,” Tech said firmly, and to prove it, he pushed himself forward, grabbed Dak’s ass and squeezed as he pulled forward, kissing Dak as hard as he could. Dak laughed against his lips and pulled away again. 

“Slow down, slow down for one second,” he chuckled. “Take the robes off. I’ll make you feel real good, baby. You’re okay now, take ‘em off.” Every single pet name Dak said tingled on Tech’s skin and he blushed madly in the darkness, peeling off his father’s robes faster than he’d ever gotten undressed before. Dak laughed again and finally took off that vest and undid his belt, letting it clatter to the floor before he pulled Tech’s almost naked body--Tech was still in his underwear and a dirty tank top--closer to him and kissed him roughly, needily, pushing his hips against Tech’s and was that--was that--was Dak enjoying this too? Could Tech--could Tech be doing it for Dak, for  _Dak Rambo_? Tech shuddered at the thought, was suddenly hyperaware just how hard he was, just how close he was.

“Dak, Dak,” he gasped once they’d parted for air. “I--please, you’re so good, please I gotta--please touch me,  _please_ -” 

Dak ran his hand over Tech Wizard’s hair and kissed his forehead. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” he whispered. “Take off the tank top.” He pulled the bottom of the shirt up and Tech lifted his arms, the two of them managing to slide the shirt off and let it drop to the floor. The cool night air hit Tech’s torso and he shivered. Dak smiled wickedly, then with gentle pressure against Tech’s sternum, pushed him down to the bed. “Okay, just lay back baby boy, Dak’s got you,” he whispered, and Tech laid back, letting his eyes flutter closed as Dak began to kiss his neck again, then down, across his upper chest and--fuck, Dak was stopping, he was stopping and for a second there was no sound, no kisses and Tech’s heart kicked up in his chest because Dak could  _see_ , he could see him in the dark and he could tell--

“Can I touch here?” Dak asked breathlessly, and Tech shuddered. “Or do you want me to skip it? I don’t have to touch if that’s not good for you.” 

Tech inhaled deeply. “You- okay. You can touch, yeah, I’m-”

“I don’t have to,” Dak repeated. 

“I don’t know--if it would--when it heals, sometimes-”

“Mhm,” Dak muttered, and Tech could feel his breath against his chest. “I healed the same way. There’s nothin’ there in terms of feeling, not that it matters to me all that much.” Tech’s eyes widened and he glanced down at Dak’s face hovering over his body, mostly in shadow, just the knowing softness of his eyes and some of his teeth flashing in the light. “Is it all gone?”

“N-no,” Tech mumbled, laying back again, not sure if he was really having this conversation. “Some--some of it is. I mean. You can try, I, I--” He could hear Dak’s head move, and then suddenly--it was muted, but he could feel Dak’s lips around his nipple and despite the loss of nerves, Tech whimpered and whined out loud. Dak’s thumbs traced across the scars across his chest so lightly it almost tickled. Tech didn’t dare breathe a word as Dak’s tongue lapped along one, then the other, and then--and then he left them alone, continuing to kiss around Tech’s stomach and Tech exhaled shakily, his hands curling and uncurling into fists against the sheets. “Fuck, Dak,” he whined as Dak sunk lower and lower. “Can I--I’m--wanna touch--”

He felt Dak pause, just a stutter of air where he had just kissed, and Tech froze up too, not sure where he had gone wrong but not wanting this to end like that. “Shit, I’m sorry, I-” 

Dak took one of Tech’s hands in his own and placed it on his head. “Shh, shh,” he said, then chuckled as Tech immediately grabbed some of Dak’s hair in his hand and gave it the smallest of tugs. “That’s right, baby boy. That’s right. You’re gonna feel good, I promise.” He kissed along Tech’s thighs and Tech whimpered and writhed beneath him. 

“Fuck, Dak, fuck, that--shit shit, shit!” Tech babbled as Dak kissed him through his underwear, fuck he hadn’t been this hard in who knew how long--fucking superdepression, fuck it was like it was cured now and every nerve still alive in his body was alight and he couldn’t seem to shut up even as he wanted to so he could hear the noises of Dak’s mouth against his body. Dak’s hands squeezed Tech’s thighs and he made this  _sound_  against Tech’s dick like--like he was enjoying just touching him and that drove Tech so crazy that when Dak pulled back, Tech was humping the air, whimpering wordlessly at the lost of contact. 

“Shh, there you go Tech, come on,” Dak muttered, kissing Tech’s thigh as his hands slid under the waistband of Tech’s underwear and fuck, he just grazed Tech’s dick with his hand before tugging down the underwear. “You’re so beautiful,” Dak breathed, and Tech could feel tears prick up against his eyelids again but he blinked them away and raised his hips so Dak could peel off his underwear. His first instinct was to curl up as Dak tossed his underwear to the side--and fuck, Dak was still wearing everything, still fully dressed except for his vest, but his breath was hot along Tech’s skin and his fingers traced along the side of Tech’s dick and Tech couldn’t think any more, could only feel Dak’s fingers of one hand sliding along his dick, his mouth pressed against one of Tech’s thighs, biting down just enough to make Tech cry out, his other hand rubbing along Tech’s hip and then wet, wet heat and Tech was crying now, sobbing and yelling Dak’s name as Dak’s lips slid lower and lower along Tech’s cock. 

“Fuck, Dak, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!” Tech screamed, and Dak’s mouth retreated, popped audibly off his dick and Tech  _wailed_ , sobbing as he tugged desperately on Dak’s hair with both hands now.

“That’s right baby, that feel good? It’s okay Tech, baby, it’s okay,” Dak leaned up and kissed Tech desperately, his hand working between their bodies and Tech pressed his red, wet face into Dak’s shoulder, clinging to his shirt now. “You’re so good baby, tell me how good it feels, tell me what you want.” 

“Dak, Dak, Dak,” Tech repeated, actively fucking Dak’s fist now. “Fuck Dak I’m-- _fuck_ , Dak--”

Dak kissed Tech’s forehead and along his hairline, so tenderly that Tech couldn’t handle it anymore, and he came between the two of them, shouting and pulling so hard on Dak’s shirt that it ripped a little bit at the collar seam. Tech then let go and pulled away from Dak’s grip, curling into a ball on his side to gasp and cry a little more, every nerve still buzzing and it was too much, too much for one white hot second and then it was all gone and the only thing left were the sobs wracking his frame, shivers crawling across his skin with each shake. 

He’d, he’d--they had-- _Dak_  had--fuck. Well, not fucked, but Tech had  _come_ , he came and a man, a man had touched his dick, had--had  _sucked_  his dick, and it felt, it felt so good and Tech had  _come_  and he’d kissed a man, been kissed, kissed a lot and that had been  _hot_  and he was still shuddering, it was like his muscles were being shocked with electricity and he couldn’t stop crying and shaking and a man had sucked him off and touched him, had touched his dick and kissed him and Dak--Dak-- _Dak_ \--

Tech could feel warm hands roll him onto his back and then something--cold, cold, fuck, along his cock and thighs and up his stomach. “Come on, Tech,” he could hear Dak’s voice distantly, like he was speaking through water. “Come on buddy. You with me? Tech? Squirt? Squirt you with me?” 

Tech blinked a few times, looking up at the dark ceiling above him and slowly, the noises of the city started to filter through his circling thoughts until they slowed and settled and he could see Dak’s face above him, flickering in and out of focus. He made a noise of recognition, his limbs like lead. 

“Come on Squirt, buddy, a little more than that,” Dak said, and gently ran a calloused thumb over Tech’s forehead. Tech shuddered a little under the touch and nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m- yeah.” He exhaled heavily, then tried to pull himself upright despite feeling like a puddle of half-melted Jello. 

“Whoa whoa whoa it’s okay. Hang out for one second, let yourself breathe,” Dak said. “I got some pickles in a lil mini-fridge in the back of the closet, and maybe some pizza dough.” He waggled his eyebrows and left Tech’s side abruptly, the mattress still sagging where he had been sitting on it. Tech let it just bounce and then slowly sat up, looking for at least his underwear and tank top. 

He had put at least his underwear back on when Dak came back into the room, hands full. “Well, I was wrong about the pickles,” he announced, “but I had more pizza dough than I thought!” He plopped back down on the mattress next to Tech and indeed, in his hands was what Tech assumed was raw pizza do, oozing out of Dak’s grip as he settled. “Here, you’re gonna need some after that,” Dak said, doing his best to rip some of the sticky dough apart and offer it to Tech. Tech slid into his tank top and then took the very sticky dough from Dak, the dough stretching between their fingers.

 “Raw pizza dough?” Tech asked, then watched as Dak popped a little bit into his mouth and chewed with a big smile on his face. 

“Yeah! It’s a shadowrunner delicacy,” Dak said around the mouthful. “I keep some on hand when I can, but you can also trade for it for a whole bunch of things, like a vigorous fuck or um, a dick sucking or anal fingering or…” Dak chewed thoughtfully as he tried to think of other sex acts one could trade for pizza dough. 

“So is this- is this because we--” Tech gestured helplessly, not sure how he felt about the idea of that whole…  _amazing_ … experience… being in exchange for some pizza dough. 

“Oh no, no, normally you’d have to suck  _my_  dick for some pizza dough,” Dak explained, and Tech suddenly froze, realizing--

“Wait, oh my god, do you want me to suck your dick? Did you get off? I, I, I wasn’t thinking but--”

“No, no, don’t worry about it, this is just Ole Dak Rambo providing some pizza dough for his good buddy Tech. We gotta keep our strength up if we’re gonna be a lil shadowrun crew. Come on, eat up buddy! We can probably get like eight minutes of shut-eye in before we go after this job!”

Tech bit into the pizza dough and chewed, trying to figure out how he felt about it. He was pretty tired after that, and he was absolutely sure he couldn’t give Dak the same experience he had just been given but.... He wanted to repay Dak. He wanted Dak to know how much he respected him, and he wanted Dak’s respect whatever way he could get it. Maybe not by giving blowjobs--well, at least not now, not until he’d had some practice and could come back and blow Dak’s mind. But he did want that, at some point--if Dak wanted it, though. Tech didn’t know. If Dak didn’t want Tech, didn’t want Tech to blow him, why would Dak blow Tech? Out of pity? Just because he was drunk? Tech could feel the pizza dough sticking to his teeth and he felt a little bit sick, and he realized suddenly that Dak was talking to him. 

“Tech? Tech buddy? Jeez, you must be more tired than I thought. Have you slept lately, buddy? We only got a little time to crash before we should head out for that mission. Here,” Dak was pulling up a ragged sheet over Tech’s legs. “Lie down, buddy. We’ll get some quick shut-eye.” Dak was pulling Tech down, and for one split second, Tech thought he was going to kiss him again, but instead he shoved a--pillow? A balled up shirt?--under Tech’s head and then lay back himself. Tech shuddered a little, uncontrollably, and was preparing to just lie there for however long this took, but Dak rolled over to his side. 

“Oh, you’re chilly? Sorry bud, we’ve only got that sheet, but don’t worry, Dak’s here for ya.” And suddenly, Dak was-- pulling Tech closer to him? Pressing his warm body against Tech’s? Placing his head on Tech’s shoulder? And was that--was he snoring now? 

Cautiously, Tech put an arm around Dak’s body, and pulled him close enough to put his cheek on the top of Dak’s hair. He felt Dak breathe against him, in and out, in and out, and slowly, Dak’s body heat seemed to seep through his skin and Tech’s eyelashes fluttered.

Not too bad for his very first day as a shadowrunner. The last thing Tech thought before he fell asleep was that maybe he could get used to this.


End file.
